Cleveland, OH

By The Oxford Commakaze

When the 4-seeded Treasure Valley Roller Derby of Boise, Idaho, were matched up against the 5-seeded Demolition City Roller Derby of Evansville, Ind., it looked like as close to a perfectly even match as you could get -- on paper. When the teams played Friday night at the 2015 International WFTDA Division 2 Playoffs Cleveland, there was no doubt that Demolition City demolished Treasure Valley, which was unable to overcome heavy penalty trouble.

Photo by Joshua Morrison Photography

The game got off to a slow start, with a defense-heavy first jam going the full two minutes but only earning four points, giving Demolition City a 4-0 lead, but the points started coming quickly with a 20-0 jam for Lickety-Splint, in which she skated backwards for almost a complete pass through the pack, maneuvering as deftly backwards as she did forwards. The point parade continued as Demolition City racked up a 60-0 lead in the first six jams.

The seventh jam looked to be more of the same after a quick lead jam for Bambi ThumpHer, but a back block sent her to the box, leaving pivot-turned-jammer Ana Highway To Hell to put up 16 points as Treasure Valley’s jammer after she took a quick star pass from Cruel La La!, who was returning from the penalty box. Ella Snofury hoped to narrow the gap further, but was held to just four points on her power jam as Treasure Valley continued to dig itself deep into penalty trouble.

However, those were the only points Treasure Valley put up for the rest of the period while Demolition City just kept them coming, despite standout blocking by Riot Earp, who managed to hold Demolition City jammer Flex A. Belle one-on-one for a solid 20 seconds until her teammates came to assist her in the last jam of the half, which finished with a score of 158-20. Demolition City jammer Bambi ThumpHer put up 61 points in the half with an incredibly effective jamming style one announcer referred to as “some kind of drunken kung-fu.” To the undiscerning eye, it looked like she looked like she was stumbling, but she was stepping into gaps so small no one else could see them to emerge with yet more points.

Although Demolition City continued to dominate the game, Treasure Valley managed to contain its penalty issues and pull out a few more tricks in the second half, putting up 5 points in the second jam after an off-the-line power jam from Ana Highway To Hell to Ella Snowfury. Demolition City’s standout blocking continued to completely shut down Treasure City’s jammers for the next nine jams, but Treasure Valley’s defense made things more difficult for Demolition City’s jammers, too, holding them to 34 points -- by comparison, they’d scored 86 points during the same jams in the first half.

Treasure Valley’s next turn at lead jammer started a slow but sure point trend as it put up points in five of the next seven jams, beating Demolition City’s point gain during that time thanks to jammer-crushing blocking by Ana Highway To Hell, who made Bambi ThumpHer’s life very difficult for most of the second half. Demolition City started to draw deeper in its jamming bench, giving Stepheree, Jetsy Rockette and the retiring Flex A. Belle chances with the jammer star, with each of them stepping up to the challenge to earn lead jammer at least once thanks to a reliable blocking strategy and a comfortable point cushion.

Ultimately, Demolition City’s clean play and unflappable skaters proved too solid for Treasure Valley to shake, as the game concluded with a final score of 241-65.

Demolition City moves on to play the Santa Cruz Derby Girls tomorrow at 2 p.m. Treasure Valley will play the Brandywine Roller Girls tomorrow at 10 a.m.

FINAL SCORE

Demolition City Roller Derby (#5) 241
Treasure Valley Roller Derby (#4) 65