Tucson, AZ

By The Oxford Commakaze

Team United Women’s Roller Derby of Urbandale, Iowa, was a bit of a mystery going into its first-ever tournament in its inaugural WFTDA season -- but the Arch Rival Roller Girls of St. Louis, Mo., solved that mystery pretty quickly, posting a 241-76 victory in the third game of the 2015 International WFTDA Division 1 Playoffs Tucson.

Photo by Bill Zingraf

Arch Rival got off to an auspicious start with a 20-0 lead in the first jam thanks to a power jam for Brickyard and powerful offense from Shear-Ra Power. Lolo Gunz put Team United on the board just one jam later with a five-point grand slam as her blockers kept Arch Rival captain Bricktator stuck at the back of the pack. Both teams were held to low-scoring jams for most of the first half of the period as they relied on heavy defensive walls to keep each other at bay, but Arch Rival accumulated points just a little bit faster, building a 44-15 lead.

Back-to-back multi-point jams helped Arch Rival solidify its lead, as did an unflappable defense that kept Team United’s jammers struggling to break out of the pack after endlessly being dragged to the back of the pack, holding Team United scoreless for four jams and pulling to a 75-19 lead. Je NE Sais Quoi grabbed a quick two points to break her team’s point drought and a lead jam call for Team United’s Lolli Pop Ya seemed to bode well, but two jammer penalties in one jam opened the door even wider for Arch Rival. Although Team United continued to grab lead calls and add points in the last few minutes of the half, Arch Rival continued to capitalize on power jams and blocker advantages to end the half with a nearly 100-point lead, 125-41.

A fast hit-and-quit jam for Brickyard started the second half off in Arch Rival’s favor again, but Je NE Sais Quoi negated Bricktator’s lead jam call in the next jam by escaping right on her heels to force a scoreless call (although not without some jammer-blocking activity as both jammers were on their speed laps). Team United put up a quick 4 points to bring the score to 128-45, but Arch Rival successfully held Team United scoreless for the next ten minutes straight thanks to aggressive jamming by transfer Harmony Killerbruise and unbreakable walls from Mayor Francis Slayer and Party Foul.

Photo by Donna Olmstead

Although Team United was able to get lead and put up points halfway through the period, Arch Rival still managed to keep its point toll accumulating as Swanson stole three points to lead jammer Lolo Gunz’s four. The only break in Arch Rival’s scoring came on a power jam for Je NE Sais Quois, whose cautious jamming kept her out of the penalty box, but also only allowed her to put nine points up while contending with Rinehart. A 24-point power jam for Mighty Mighty Boston and an 18-point accumulation for Harmony Killerbruise just a few jams later quickly negated those gains.

Single-digit minutes left on the clock meant an assured victory for Arch Rival, but Team United had a few tricks left up its sleeve, including an 8-point jam for EnerGEEzer Bunny, who, appropriately enough, bunny-hopped up the outside line with her hips turned to the track to bust out the lead and capitalized on punchy offense from jammer-blocker double threat Vyolent GriMm. A last point grab for Lolo Gunz put four more up as the seconds slipped away, but a two-minute jam as both Swanson and EnerGEEzer Bunny went to the box left both teams able to put points on the board for a final jam as the clock expired, with a final score of 241-76.

Arch Rival will move on to play tomorrow at 2 p.m. MST against the winner of tonight’s game between the Bay Area Derby Girls of Oakland, California, and the Terminal City Rollergirls of Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada. Team United will play Arizona Roller Derby of Phoenix, Arizona, tomorrow at 10 a.m. MST.

Final Score

Arch Rival Roller Girls (#3) 241
Team United Roller Derby (#6) 76